Tomoyo's Mother
by John Fiala
Summary: Tomoyo's relationship with Sakura has been largely unchanged since her younger years. But what will she do when her world turns upside down?


Tomoyo's Mother  
By John C Fiala  
A Card Captor Sakura fanfiction.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, and this story is not meant   
to challenge in any way the people who do own them.  
  
Sakura and Tomoyo were sitting together in Tomoyo's garden, chatting   
about the dance that was coming up in a week. In particular, they were   
talking about Sakura going to the dance.  
  
"I think this design looks nice," said Tomoyo, holding up a sketch.   
  
Sakura took the sketch, and looked over it closely. Although the dress   
was attractive, in shades of light blue and a tight skirt, she blushed at  
the thought of wearing it. The neckline plunged in the drawing to   
display Sakura's (the models in all of Tomoyo's drawings were Sakura)   
cleavage and a diamond cutout at the waist displayed her navel. "This is  
too daring," she whispered, a fiery blush lighting her cheeks. Now that  
the girls were sixteen Sakura had hoped that she wouldn't be turning red   
so often, but so far that hadn't been the case.  
  
Tomoyo looked up in dreamy contemplation. "But Sakura-chan would look so  
cute in that outfit!"  
  
Sakura looked at it again, her blush still going strong. She knew that   
Tomoyo would probably make this dress sooner or later, and that she'd   
have to model it for her friend (not that she really minded), but there   
was no way she was going to wear this in front of her classmates. "No   
dice."  
  
Tomoyo shrugged. "Ah, well. Let's see..."  
  
Her mother coming out into the garden cut off her sentence. "Tomoyo,   
darling! Come give your mother a hug before she leaves!" She smiled at   
the two girls, huddled over the drawings. "Good afternoon, Sakura-chan."  
  
Sakura waved, glad for a chance to let her blush fade. "Good afternoon,   
Daidouji-san. You're going on a trip?"  
  
Tomoyo's mother straightened from a hug with her daughter. "Yes, I've   
got some business meetings in Los Angeles that I simply have to attend.   
I'm sorry, Tomoyo," she finished, the last comment to her daughter.  
  
Tomoyo nodded. "I understand, Mama."  
  
Her mother smiled. "Good. Walk me to the car, dear. Sakura, I promise   
to give her back in a moment."  
  
Sakura laughed lightly. "Sure, sure." She was hoping that with Tomoyo   
gone she could find a design that was both flattering and not as daring.  
  
---  
  
As Tomoyo walked to the front door with her mother, she spent a few   
moments studying her mother's features, taking a mental picture of her to  
hold close as she was gone. She started as she realized her mother had   
said something. "What? I'm sorry, mama, but I wasn't paying attention."  
  
"I said, have you told her yet?"  
  
Tomoyo didn't even try to pretend that she didn't know what her mother   
was talking about. "No, I haven't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"You know," she said. At her mother's raised eyebrow, she continued.   
"Mama, as far as I can tell, she's straight. What if she's scared of me?  
What if she doesn't feel the same way? What if, what if she's sorry for me?"  
  
Her mother knelt on the steps, looking up at her daughter, marveling as   
the slender beauty that she had grown into. "I've known Sakura for a   
long time now, darling, and I don't think that she could ever hate you.   
She may be straight, yes, but somehow I think it's more of a blind spot   
for her than a dislike." She gave her daughter a kiss on the forehead as  
she stood up. "I think, my dear, that you should risk it, that you   
should tell her. Love is a precious thing, and worth any risk. Even the  
risk of failure." With those words, she stepped into the car, a raised   
hand preventing her chauffeur from shutting the door. "Nadeshiko taught   
me that. Anyway, wish me luck, darling."  
  
Tomoyo smiled. It was a ritual of theirs; the last things they said to   
each other as her mother went on a business trip. "Good luck, Mama. I   
love you."  
  
Her mother smiled. "I love you too. See you soon." With that, the door  
shut, the chauffeur retreated to her driver's seat, and the limousine   
drove off down the driveway. Tomoyo waited until the car had turned the   
corner out of the gate, when she could not see it any more, and only then  
turned to return to her friend.  
  
---  
  
Sakura returned home that evening, tired. Tomoyo and she had decided on   
a dress, and for some reason Tomoyo had decided to get obsessed and start  
working on it right away. "I've got it laid out, actually," she said,   
"and with a few measurements I can start working on it tonight."  
  
Sakura had looked puzzled as she automatically followed Tomoyo to her   
workroom. "Tonight? I thought we'd go see a movie together, with   
Syaoran and a few others." Sakura wouldn't normally invite Tomoyo along   
on a date with her boyfriend, but this was more of a group thing than a   
date thing.  
  
Tomoyo had stopped for a moment, and Sakura had almost thought that she   
had lost her balance on the step before they were moving forward again.   
"No, no, I think I'll just put some work into it now, while I'm feeling   
inspired. Tell you what, later tonight I'll give you a call, and maybe   
we can try a fitting tonight, okay?"  
  
Sakura had agreed, and then had put up with an extensive measuring   
session. She always was surprised at Tomoyo's insistence on re-measuring  
her, but Tomoyo was often a perfectionist about these things, and Sakura   
was going through a bit of a growth spurt after all.  
  
The movie had been fun, if a little disappointing. Chiharu, Rika, and   
herself had all wanted to see "Shakespeare in Love", but the guys had   
voted to see "The Mummy Returns". It had been fun all right, but she   
spent part of the movie wishing Tomoyo had come along. It was probably   
because her vote would have forced the boys into watching Shakespeare.  
  
"Oh, well," she sighed. Maybe next time.  
  
---  
  
Entering her home, she was surprised to find her father, her brother   
Touya, and her brother's friend Yukito clustered around the TV set.   
"What's going on?"  
  
"Shush, monster," hissed her brother. "An airplane's crashed in the   
pacific."  
  
Sakura bit down the reflexive response to her brother's nickname for her,  
as she understood the second half of his sentence. She quickly sat   
herself by the TV, and listened.  
  
The anchorman was reporting that a plane had had an engine explode over   
the pacific, and then when it turned to return to Tokyo one of the wings   
had apparently violently separated from the body, sending the airplane to  
crash into the ocean, and then sink. A rescue effort was underway,   
thanks to a joint Japan Defense Force/US Navy exercise nearby, but hopes   
were not high.  
  
The anchorman continued as the clock hit 6:00. "And again, the top story  
tonight is the crash and sinking of Japan Air Lines flight 523 out of   
Tokyo to Los Angeles."  
  
Sakura felt her insides go cold. Did Tomoyo already know about this?   
Was Tomoyo's mother on that plane? She leapt up, ran to the phone, and   
dialed.   
  
*Ring*  
*Ring*  
*Ring*  
*Ring*  
Click  
  
"Tomoyo, is that you?"  
  
"Hi, and thanks for calling," said a recorded voice. "We can't come to   
the phone right now, but please leave your name and number, and we'll get  
back to you once we're ready to." The answering machine went beep, and   
Sakura softly swore into it before hanging up. She then dialed her   
friend's cell phone.  
  
It rang twelve times before it was picked up. "Mama?" Tomoyo's voice   
said hopefully. She sounded like she'd been crying.  
  
"Tomoyo, you heard?"  
  
A sniffle, and then silence. "yes" The quiet of the word struck Sakura   
like a physical blow, her friend's sorrow reaching through the phone to   
envelop her.  
  
"I'm so sorry. I'll - I'll come over right now." She didn't even listen  
for a response, but hung up, jumping over the couch to reach for her   
coat. "Dad, Tomoyo's mom was on that plane," Sakura took a moment to   
slip into her roller skates with long-practiced moves, "I've got to go."  
  
Her father gave her a solemn nod, understanding Sakura's concern for her   
friend. "Give us a call if you need anything."  
  
But by the time he had finished saying it, she had already gone, the door  
hanging open. He walked over and shut it for her.  
  
---  
  
As she skated through the town, Sakura felt an overwhelming sense of   
urgency, and a strange sense of disconnection. Her best friend's mother   
had just died, her world had turned upside down, but everyone she passed   
was acting as if everything was perfectly normal. She wanted to scream   
at them, to tell them what had happened, to force them to see that the   
world was ending, but she couldn't because it wasn't. It was only ending  
for Tomoyo.  
  
She concentrated on seeing just how fast she could skate.  
  
When she arrived at the house she quickly entered her id code into the   
keypad by the front gate. It seemed to take forever for the gate to   
unlatch, even though she knew it was probably only a few seconds. But a   
second of being alone at a time like this was something that Sakura would  
give anything to spare Tomoyo.  
  
She slammed the gate shut behind her and rocketed up the drive, stumbling  
on the steps but still getting to the door as it was opened by one of the  
house staff, who was looking sorrowful as well. As Sakura flung off the   
roller skates, she was told that Tomoyo was in the media room. Sakura   
breathed quick thanks and ran up the stairs.  
  
The media room had originally been a small personal movie theater when   
the house had been new, but Tomoyo had made it into her own. She had   
cleared away a few rows of seats and replaced them with a comfortable   
couch, a small fridge for snacks, and also added video and TV projectors   
in addition to the original film projector. Exploding into the room,   
Sakura saw Tomoyo curled into a ball on the floor in front of the screen,  
her mother's death projected in images five feet high, above her.   
"Tomoyo!"  
  
The ball that was Tomoyo twitched, and Sakura ran down to join her   
friend, jumping over the almost-finished dress that Tomoyo had still been  
working on when the news came in. She picked up her friend and wrapped   
her arms around her, pressing her own tear-streaked face to hers. "Oh,   
Tomoyo, I'm so sorry!"  
  
Tomoyo gave out a wail of sorrow and hugged her back, great sobs that   
almost seemed to force their way out of the normally restrained and   
elegant girl. The crying went on for a long time, sometimes louder,   
sometimes softer, but they slowly died down and stopped.  
  
Sakura tried to turn off the TV at one point, but Tomoyo stopped her.   
"If they find, if they find any survivors... I need to know." Sakura bit  
her lip, but agreed. Tomoyo did let her call the kitchen, which sent up   
sandwiches and soup. The sandwiches were roast beef and Swiss cheese,   
Tomoyo's favorite, and they were nicely filling as the thick warm soup   
calmed the girls.  
  
An hour after that they were still watching, wrapped up in one enormous   
blanket on the couch. As the news went to other matters, Tomoyo   
hesitantly reached out, and muted the sound.  
  
"What is it?" Sakura asked quietly.  
  
"I talked with my mother when she left. I'm glad... I'm glad I did. But  
there's something she wanted... something she wanted me to do." Tomoyo's  
voice was still very soft, but Sakura hoped it sounded a little better.  
  
Sakura nodded at her friend. "I'll help, if I can. If you'll let me."  
  
Tomoyo smiled softly at Sakura. "I don't know how much you'll want to.   
I don't want you to, well, not because you're sorry for me. Understand?"  
  
Sakura couldn't think of anything she wouldn't help Tomoyo with, but she   
could see this was very important to her. "Yes, I understand."  
  
Tomoyo was silent for a few moments after that, and Sakura had almost   
decided that her friend had fallen asleep when she continued. "My mother  
knew a secret, you see. She knew who I - who I love."  
  
Sakura's eyes grew wide at the words. Tomoyo in love was such good news   
that it almost pushed her mother's death into the background for a   
moment. "That's great!"  
  
Tomoyo gave Sakura a sad smile. "This is hard enough as it is, Sakura.   
Could you just let me speak?" In response to the other girl's nod, she   
continued. "I've been in love, but I've been afraid to reveal it. I   
don't want," her voice trailed off, and she tried again. "I don't want   
to drive anyone away. It was safer to keep it to myself."  
  
Sakura nodded, not understanding what her friend meant but wanting to   
show she was listening without interrupting her friend's train of   
thought.  
  
"But Mama wanted me to confess my love. She said that love was too   
special not to risk everything to have it. And now that she's dead, now   
that I no longer have her, I've got to take that risk, both for her   
memory and for myself."  
  
Sakura nodded, leaning forward in her eagerness to learn whom Tomoyo's   
love was.  
  
"I love you, Sakura."   
  
"And I love you, Tomoyo, but who are you in," Sakura's mouth stopped as   
if someone had stuffed a sock in it. Every muscle of her body was frozen  
as she looked at her friend, remembered what they had thought about.   
Tomoyo had always said it, 'I love you, Sakura', 'Nothing's the best for   
my Sakura', 'I can't miss a chance to tape my cute Sakura'.   
  
Tomoyo had told her, time and again, who it was Tomoyo loved, and for all  
Sakura thought she was a good friend, she had never actually LISTENED to   
Tomoyo.   
  
And so it had taken Tomoyo's mother's death to force Sakura to listen.  
  
Sakura noticed that her jaw was flapping up and down, which was a good   
sign. If she could just get control of the rest of her mouth, she might   
be able to say something. As soon as she knew what to say, that is.  
  
Tomoyo gave a sad smile. "I thought so." She sagged, her dry eyes   
refusing to cry any more, even for this.  
  
"NO!"  
  
For a moment, Sakura wondered who had said it. Then she realized she   
had. "No, Tomoyo. You're wrong." She leaned forward, and gave Tomoyo a  
hug, pressing her cheek to her friend's.  
  
"Sakura?"  
  
"I love you too, Tomoyo. I don't know if I love you the way you love me.  
I never ever thought of you that way, of anyone."  
  
"I don't want pity, Sakura." Tomoyo's voice resounded with sorrow.  
  
"This isn't pity, Tomoyo. I promise you that it isn't. I don't know   
what else it may be, but it isn't pity."  
  
Tomoyo finally smiled, a real smile, if a small one. "If - if you say   
so."  
  
"I do. I don't know if I can love you that way, Tomoyo-chan. But I do   
love you, and I'm willing to try. Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. Maybe   
you'll decide to chase after Rika instead."  
  
Tomoyo gave a little laugh that Sakura thought she would treasure for the  
rest of her life. "I don't think so. She's already taken."  
  
Sakura gave Tomoyo a laugh back. "But I'll stay with you no matter what.  
Because I do love you." And then, not really knowing what she was doing,  
she gave her friend a kiss. Not a passionate one, no, but not a friendly  
one either. It wasn't as hard as she thought it might be. And it was   
kinda nice, too.  
  
When the kiss was over, Tomoyo was asleep. Sakura turned off the   
television, curled up with her friend, and held a vigil over her until   
the morning, where they fell asleep together.  
  
---  
  
The funeral was a somber occasion. Several of the people who did not   
know Daidouji Sonomi very well frowned at seeing the two young women   
holding hands and kissing, but Daidouji Sonomi's real friends knew that   
love was the best way to celebrate the life that had been lost, and   
smiled.  
  
Not that Tomoyo cared what they thought. She was sad, very sad, with the  
loss of her mother, and would be for months to come. But she would   
survive this sorrow, because she had someone to share it with. Whether   
she and Sakura ended up as lovers, or 'only' sisters, she had someone to   
share her sorrows, and her joys.   
  
Her mother had read to her once a story by an American writer, and one   
quote resurfaced in her mind as she looked at one family member so   
recently lost, and then at the one just now acquired.  
  
"Shared pain is divided, but shared joy is multiplied."  
  
THE END  
  
Author's Notes:  
Yes, this is in reaction to the attack and devistation of the World Trade  
Center and the Pentagon, as well as the selfless heroism of the people   
who were able to force their plane into the ground in Pennsylvania.  
  
I hadn't originally planned on writing anything based on this tragedy.   
But two days afterwards the story popped into my head, in one piece, and   
I spent the next hour or two afterwards pouring it into my PDA. Now that  
I've written it, I'm now feeling the sorrow and the hurt and the anger   
much better.   
  
Thank you for reading. My email address is John.Fiala@csssoftware.com,   
and any feedback is appreciated.  



End file.
